【雅思作文批改】7分：不要带任何主观色彩-考雅吧勒德斯拉
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终于出现一位7分的小伙伴了，太不容易啦！雅思小作文一篇送上郭桂彬 ，大家好好参考参考，看看自己还有多大的距离全职业米虫 ？

作文题目：

作文内容：
There is a column chart depicting the proportion of male and female teachers in diversified sorts of educational institutions in 2010 in the UK.
To begin董沂峰,it is noticeable that the vast majority of teachers in nurseries or pre-schools and primary schools were women,taking up about 96% and 98% with men only occupying 4% and 2% respectively.While in universities,male teachers received more popularity and the figure for them was approximately 70% which was over two times the percentage of their counterparts.
However短尾蝮,the sexual differences in teaching were smaller in the remaining categories.In secondary school,female teachers accounted for just over 50%,a little more than that of men teachers whereas the situation in private training institutes was reversed with men teachers representing over 50%.At last,the proportions of male and female teachers in college were identical.
To summary,female teachers were overwhelming popular in teaching youngsters while male teachers showed their strong point in giving university lectures[A1].
[A1]这句话带主观色彩敌后英雄，小作文的忌讳之处。也有可能是其他原因导致这个现象，不要推测
各项细分：

针对问题最大的一点指出问题：
结尾段建议不要带任何主观色彩，如果考官很介意肯定必定拉分，望今后注意王治单。
其他的地方都比较好，没有太多需要纠正的地方，所以评语较少永夜君王吧 ，加油说再见不再见！！
附批改原图：

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